The Dog Days of Summer

Ahh....the dog days of summer. When there is nothing to do but lounge in the water with your favorite people and canines. Yesterday was quite warm so we took to the beach for an afternoon of relaxation. Last summer Piper was terrified of the water. She would run from waves as they hit the beach. She never got her paws yet except for the one time in which she fell off the dock. Most of this summer it has been the same although she would walk in the water, getting just her paws yet. Yesterday we had a breakthrough. We weren't able to get the 'Mother Ship' all the way up the beach and the water was about 6 inches deep at the end of the ladder. When torn with the need to go through water to go potty or stay on the boat, she opted to get off. OK...she needed some encouragement. But then she discovered how much fun it was and spent the rest of the afternoon splashing through the water and playing with Kaja. I don't think she will ever be a recreational swimmer like our Kaja is but she did discover the water is an enjoyable place to be on a warm afternoon.

50+

I am now closer to 100 than I am to the day I was born. That was pointed out to me by one of my ED co-workers...thanks.

I have receovered from my birthday angst and the melanoly feelings I had. It was a wonderfully quiet day...quite unlike what you would expect a Leo-woman would want. We spent the day on the boat, went up to Stillwater and had dinner at a great resturant~Nacho Mama's. I would have linked their webpage but I can't seem to find one for them. They have an interesting menu, good drinks and a pretty good beer list. Their patio is nice even though it is bordered by a street. It ws fun.

Since my birthday, well...actually all summer I have been thinking about the concept of normal. How many times I have said "when my life gets back to normal" I do whatever. So what is normal?

There are definately normals in healthcare: normal vital signs, normal x-rays, normal mammograms. While some of these things are absolutes (either positive or negative) most are still a range of what we consider usual or consistent for a given situation. When it comes to people and life situations, I am not sure there is a normal. Sure there are things that we do in the same way every single time we do them...I would suppose that is the closest thing we have to normal. When I look at my life, I am struck by how un-normal I am! I work unusual hours, live in Woodbury, have a giant dog. play hockey and don't generally, act like a 50-year-old.

So what is normal? Whatever we think it is on a given day. Ever changing and evolving...we redefine ourselves and our situations in light of what is going on in our world.

Normal. It is what I am...perhaps.

50

Today is my 50th Birthday.

I have never experienced sadness with a birthday before but today is difficult. 50 is a turning point. I cannot deny that I am now, middle-aged. I have to check a different box on forms. I am no longer "in my 40's". While women today are different than our mothers were when they turned 50, it still represents a half of a century. And I am not sure that I am "aged to perfection" but I liked the picture. In fact, I am no where close to perfection and thankfully, will never be.

I did some checking online to see if I could come up with an idea of how long I might live. I found this life expectancy calculator online and did it. According to my results, I can expect to live 88.62 years. This calculator is published by the University of Pennsylvania (a reputable agency) and asked questions about my family health history and some about mine but did not ask if I had a history of cancer...hmmmmm. Since this one did not ask very many questions about my personal health, I looked for another one and found a site call "Living to 100" and did theirs. According to them, my life expectancy is 85. According to the Centers for Disease Control (2007), my life expectancy is 77.8 years.

So, based on this information I have somewhere between 27.8 and 38.62 years of my life left. That doesn't seem like enough. What should I do with it?

I want to lose 12 pounds, engage in regular physical activity, drink less and eat better, and live debt-free. This sounds a bit like making New Year's resolutions and we all know how that goes. Perhaps my effort should be aimed at just being myself for another 27.8-38.62 years. I will try to be a bit nicer and I would like to travel more and retire. But aside from that...

I think I will head to the back deck of the boat to sit in the sun (without sunscreen) with a plate of chips and cheese and an icy cold beer...Happy Birthday to me.

References

Centers for Disease Control (2007). Life expectancy. Retrieved August 5, 2008 from http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/lifexpec.htm

Foster, D., Chua, C. and Ungar, L. (n.d.) How long will I live? Retrieved August 5, 2008 from http://gosset.wharton.upenn.edu/mortality/

The Breast Cancer 3-Day

The slogan for the Breast Cancer 3-Day walk is...everyone deserves a lifetime. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer I began to reconsider how long a lifetime was. Was it only 48 years? Fortunately for me, I believe it will be much longer. But for many women diagnosed with breast cancer, a lifetime is not that long. The Breast Cancer 3-Day walk is a fundraiser. Thousands of people, across the country will be walking 60 miles over the course of 3 days to raise money for breast cancer research, treatment and awareness. My sister Pat is one of those walkers. She has surprised me. She is a quiet sole who keeps most things to herself. She has never really shared with me what it was like for her to have her sister diagnosed with cancer. I sometimes worry about her silence but she does seem to manage it all pretty well.



Anyway. Last year I worked on the medical crew for the Twin Cities 3-Day event. I was just past chemo and didn't have the energy so I worked instead. It was a powerful experience for me and I met some incredible women along the way. As I was sharing my experiences with Pat after the event, she told me she was going to walk this year. Okay. We'll see...she can be kind of procrastinator. I told her if she did the walk, I would be her fund raising manager (she has to raise $2200). Much to my surprise, she registered. She printed out the suggested training schedule and has been walking since early this year, training for the event. Even though we have had a rather cold, wet spring, she has been out there with her training walks. And now the pressure is on me...to help her to raise the funds.



And that's where you all come in. If you have ever been affected by breast cancer in any way, please consider a donation to my sister's walk. You can click on the link to the right and it will take you directly to a donation page. You can use plastic online to donate or print a donation form and send your donation in. We've also planned a couple of fun events for the summer which you might be interested in. Sunday, August 24 we are having a wine tasting cruise aboard our boat. Join us for an evening cruise (6-10 pm). Bring a bottle of wine to share and we'll do the rest. Hopefully you'll have such a great time, you will want to throw some cash at my sister too.

Here are some links to the Breast Cancer 3-Day Site and to my sister, Pat Eggert's 3-Day webpage. Check them out. It is a wonderful cause because we all deserve a lifetime.

Summer?

Sun, cool temperatures, tornadoes...quite a variety for the Memorial Day weekend. It is our official beginning of summer though and we did spend it on the water. Judy and Steph were our first guests and cruisers. Check out the photos. It was a fun weekend, despite the weather!

Difficult Decisions

I had a difficult case last night while working in the ED. It was a school-age child who was depressed. He was there with his Mom who discussed a long family history of mental health concerns. She also revealed her husband was deployed with the military, still in the US but readying for service abroad. From there, our crisis social worker took over to assess the child's and family needs. In the meantime, I got a call from the American Red Cross stating they had a request for emergency medical leave for the father of this child. It was up to me to approve or deny this request. I told them I would contact them when I had more information.



When the social worker was finished she updated me. The happy, smiling boy and mother were heading home. The social worker thought things were fine so I called the Red Cross back and denied the request for emergency leave. About an hour later I got a phone call from a very angry, threatening mother who challenged my decision. Words like 'audacity', 'dying', and 'kill' were included. The phrase 'how dare you' was also mentioned. I got a bit uncomfortable with this and informed her I would call them back and change my decision. When the Red Cross worker asked me why I had changed my mind, I just said there was a change in the situation.

Did I do the right thing?
What would you have done in my situation?

I looked over my should as I walked out to my car after work...

Friday Photo Challenge: Numbers

Two.

And I know...it's Saturday.

Ron...Ron Burgandy

For those of you who have seen the Will Ferrell movie, Anchor Man you will recognize the name Ron Burgundy. That was the name of Will Ferrell's character, a womanizing TV news anchor. Last year when we bought our old houseboat, our niece Alvin named it Ron...Ron Burgundy because of the color. The name has since been shortened to Ron. Are you going to Ron today? Are we staying on Ron this weekend? Is there beer in Ron's refrigerator. You get the idea.

While at work last Saturday, we were talking about our plans for Sunday. I said that I would be laying under Ron for a few hours. The people I work with knew we have been sanding and prepping to paint Ron so they all understood what I meant...except our pharmacist. She pulled me aside and suggested that I should watch what I say in a children's hospital! Made me giggle.

I did spend several hours under Ron and he's looking good. His bottom is now painted black and most of his hull dings are repaired. Mary has been working on Ron everyday, all day regardless of the weather. I guess those 4 days off every week are kind of handy. We are painting the rest of Ron blue. A lovely marine blue. I can't wait to see him done. But then he won't be Ron anymore.

Here's Ron, sanded and ready for some new paint! At least down below. We have to finish the hull work before he can go back into the water. That should be in the next few days! We will still have the sanding and painting above the waterline to finish but that we can take our time with. For some perspective on Ron's size, you can see our Lexus just behind Ron's bow. Sanding and painting Ron is no small task!

Ron...Ron Burgundy.

Stay Classy!

Friday Photo Challenge: Angles

Here's my skinny dog.

She is composed of many angles.

Do dogs get spring fever?

Yes.

They do.

Just like we do.

The last few days have actually been nice. Kaja and Piper have been going crazy outside. Running like maniacs, sniffing, rolling in the grass...smiling the entire time they are out there. Going until they flop down in the yard in the sun.

They embody the way I feel.

Why don't humans take a few lessons from our pets. Run! Sniff the spring air and roll in the grass.

Happy Spring.

Stick It to Breast Cancer

My hockey team played their last game for the 2007-2008 season yesterday. It was in the Stick It to Cancer tournament. This is an annual tournament, the 10th annual in fact, and my team plays every year. Last year I was not able to play because I was in the middle of my chemotherapy. But this year...a different story. I did play. I played the best that I could given my circumstances. My team took 4th place in our division (yes, there were more than 4 teams in the division) and we had a great time.

Being a part of this tournament as a breast cancer survivor was a different experience for me. In years past, I just played because it was a good cause. Last year it was a more personal experience. And this year, I am a survivor.

Friday Photo Challenge: Rough

Race for the Cure~Sunday, May 11

It's that time again...RACE for the CURE. I am hoping that you will consider joining me for this year's walk. Children's is a corporate sponsor for this event and I am encouraging you to register for the Children's Hospital team. They make the check-in process much easier and throw a few extra goodies into your race bag. Unfortunately, their deadline is creeping up so if you can get it done, it would be the easiest way to go. The benefit of registering with Children's team is that your t-shirt and other items will come to me at Children's so you won't have to go and pick up your stuff at the mall.

Register online by going to Race for the Cure and then click on . From there, you can

choose to register as an individual or a team. To register with Children's, scroll through the list until you geet to Children's Hospitals and Clinics-St. Paul and select that. From there, it will ask for the usual information.

Let me know if you have any questions.

Friday Photo Challenge: Heroes

For those of you who don't know her, this is my partner Mary Mohn. She is a Minneapolis Firefighter. She joined the department nearly 22 years ago, one of a few women on the job. This photo was taken last fall when she (and her firetruck) made a visit to one of my co-worker's neighborhoods. His little guys (That's Quinn and Will) who were dressing up as firefighters for Halloween, quickly put on their costumes and got to crawl all over the big truck. They were so excited.

She is my hero...

The Sum of Her Parts

Karl Ludwig von Bertalanffy was an Austrian-born biologist (d. 1972) who is credited as one of the founders of general systems theory (GST). His work has undergone various applications and revisions over the years but essentially is known as being the first that suggested a system was greater than the sum of its parts. General systems theory has been used in health care to describe family dynamics and relationships. It is a very complex theory but can be picked apart rather easily and defines system as a set of interacting or interdependent entities which together, form an integrated whole.

I am not sure if systems theory has been considered in terms of the human body but I am guessing that someone has. If you think about it, a human body is a set of interacting entities which come together to form an integrated and functioning whole. Ok. So what happens if some of these entities are removed? Like various parts...tonsils, adenoids, appendix, gall bladder, breasts, ovaries and uterus? Is the system, the human, the same? Or is the system permanently altered to become some other system...

When we are born we have a pretty standard set of 'parts'. These parts form the human anatomy and provide the physiology that makes the 'system' work. Certain parts of the system, like the reproductive parts, create the distinction that occurs between men and women. Having my breasts removed caused me to do some thinking of what makes one female. I went through a process of thinking about that last year when I was post-op and going through chemo. I pretty much resolved that in my head and redefined myself as a woman missing the parts that society used to identify us as one gender. Done. Then came tamoxifen side effects and a hysterectomy. I know have all of the 'parts' that differentiate female. The process began again...redefining, reconsidering, rethinking what I have known to be true in my life.

But then came Thomas Beatie...the pregnant man. I watched his interview with Oprah this week. He is the transgendered man who is now pregnant. In the interview he revealed that he had an elective bilateral mastectomy, began hormonal therapy but decided to keep the uterus, ovaries, etc. One the outside, he looks like a man...facial hair, deeper voice, etc. but on the inside has female parts and is now 6 months pregnant. So is he a pregnant man or a pregnant woman with facial hair?

So how does this relate to me today? We have two selves~that which we present to the world and that which we know intimately. And in applying GST to this, certainly the human body requires certain 'parts' to make the system work. There are some anatomical essentials but reproductive parts are not essential. The body does not rely on the presence of reproductive organs for effective functioning. So despite the loss of many minor body parts in the course of my life, I still consider myself to be greater than the sum of my parts.

Mediocre Dane

This is a photo of my pda. My iPac...a very expensive, wireless, electronic device that holds all of the information necessary for life in it. Things like phone numbers, calendars, emergency texts, professional licensure, online courses that I am teaching, the combination to my father's safe and a couple of games. All of that information (and more) is still in it; however, I cannot access it. Yesterday, Mary and I went out for a bit and came home to find bits of black plastic on the carpet. As you can see, Piper has destroyed my PDA. It did power up once but that was it. It's gone. It's like having a lobotomy. I know, right about now you are wondering why I left it in Piper-territory...after all, it really is my fault. Right. It was inside a leather case on top of my desk. Today I spent some time looking for an interactive online calendar program that will get me through for a few months. At least until I decide what kind of product I need next. She is kind of a mediocre Dane today, certainly not a great one.

She kind of redeemed herself with me later today though. It was a beautiful afternoon and I decided to take the girls out and let them run wild...which they did. Their noses were in high gear with the delicious smells of spring~deer poop, rabbit fir, dead frogs in the pond. They went crazy! And I got to enjoy watching them enjoy it all. Oh to be a dog...even if you only were a mediocre one. Enjoy my first attempt at digital video with a still camera.

Creamy White Filling

I had my surgery yesterday and it went very well. The surgeon came to meet with the two of us in the preoperative area. He went through his talk, finishing with he would meet with Mary when I went to the recovery room. He summed it all up by asking if either of us had other questions. My partner asked him what he would be putting into my abdomen to fill in the space. He looked a bit confusing, like he didn't understand the question. She went on to make some suggestions...packing peanuts, blown-in insulation, and creamy white filling~the stuffing from stuffed toys. He caught on and started laughing, asking me what I would prefer. Mary suggested that packing peanuts would be too lumpy and Piper would want to get the creamy white filling out since that is one of her favorite treats. I think it is good to have your surgeon laughing before he starts cutting on you.

I went into surgery at 11:10 and was awake in the recovery room just after 2:00 pm. We were home just after 7:00 last night. Hysterectomies used to be done through a large open incision with a hospitalization that lasted up to 10 days. Things are different and it was great to sleep in my own bed last night. Of course, I have Mary dotting on me. "What's your pain level now?" "Can I get you anything?" She is also running interference with my large puppy who seems to think that if I am laying down it is to hold her. Right now, that would be a bit painful for me.

All things considered, I am doing great!

3658-182-15-3

We are home. We drove a total of 3658 miles, pumped 182 gallons of gas, slept in other beds 15 nights and listened to 3 complete audiobooks. I am happy to report that aside from some mustard on a hotdog at the Kennedy Space Center, there were no disagreements. At all. Amazing what vacation can do for you!

We are happy to be home. It is cooler here than Florida but there is little snow to be seen. Our girls were so happy to see us, they ran from one of us to the other for quite a while when they discovered we were home. They look terrific and have been very well fed and cared for. Thanks Alvin! And we're real sorry about your camera. (Apparently a digital camera was placed next to a dog toy which Piper decided she needed to have RIGHT NOW!)

St. Augustine, Easter and Disney

We are winding down our time in Florida. In fact, today will be our last day without traveling. We are planning on heading home tomorrow. And I think we are both ready. Even vacationing can get old! Mostly, we miss our girls.



We spent the weekend playing tourist. We visited St. Augustine, Fl., the oldest city in the United States. Some of the buildings are original including Castillo de San Marco, a fort built by the Spanish to protect their territory. Remember? The Spanish originally settled in Florida, long before the Pilgrims arrived to the north. The fort was interesting and made me very happy to have been born in a time when everything about life was exponentially easier. The Fountain of Youth is also located in St. Augustine. We went there and yes, even drank from it. Mary suggested that it may have been too late for me. Nice.

We spent Easter Sunday engaged in worship at our favorite place...the Church of the Open Water (also known as the beach) and then enjoyed a lovely Easter dinner at McDonalds on our way to Orlando. We switched venues and are now staying in Orlando. We have had to spend our days poolside rather than at the beach.

Monday was cool and cloudy. Mary, my theme park lover, picked a park to visit. We initially went to the Magic Kingdom as we have not been there in many years; however, a view of the parking lot confirmed that we had made a bad choice on a holiday and headed for Epcot where we had a great day, complete with eating the ears off of Mickey Mouse.



Today, it's our final day at the pool. We are leaving at 0500 tomorrow to avoid hitting Atlanta during rush hour...a mistake we made just once. We will be home, back to normal life with work, our girls, snow and cold, on Friday.

Ahhh...relaxation!

We are settled into the routine of vacation...getting up when we want to, walks on the beach, and then some playtime. We've hit a couple of local sites when the weather has been less favorable for beachtime. Mary, Mark and Pat went to the Daytona Speedway on Tuesday while I graded papers. Yesterday we all went to Kennedy Space Center. Today the weather report is 78 and sunny! We'll be heading to the beach very soon. The photo at the top is the sunrise Mary and I watched from our balcony this morning. Enjoy the other shots.