When I was little, I remember thinking about how old I would be at the turn of the century. I couldn't imagine being that old...ever. And now here we are, beginning the 8th year of that century and yes, I am that old. As 2007 ended, I spent the last few days thinking about the year that had been. Inevitable I would imagine. That is what formal endings encourage us to do. To take inventories and make plans.
So here I am...on New Year's Day with a cup of coffee (Norwegian coffee...yum) in front of the fireplace~pondering the year that was and thinking about what is to be. My intitial response is to be happy that 2007 is over and in many ways I am. It wasn't the best year for me or for us. Being diagnosed with cancer will taint one's perceptions a bit. While the surgery and the chemotherapy wasn't a great deal of fun for any of us, there were some true gifts in my diagnosis.
I survived. I know that sounds contrite but you have to understand, I've had a pretty easy life. I have not been faced with significant personal challenges. I haven't had many hurdles to overcome and pretty much what I have wanted in my life I have gotten. I have achieved many things personally and professionally. I have been more than comfortable, I have been blessed. So here in the divine plan, I was tossed a challenge which was more than I had ever been given before and I survived. A friend commented on my courage. I don't think of myself as particularly courageous. I do think of myself as someone who just deals with what is there. And that is what I did with my cancer. I just dealt with what was handed to me. And I didn't do it alone. I could not have done it alone. I found tremendous support and encouragement in my partner, my sister and niece and in my family of friends. Each time I see the oncologist, I get great news. My CA27-29 continues to go down. A CA27-29 is a tumor marker that is found in the blood of patients with breast cancer. It is used in conjunction with other screening to check for recurrence. It can also be elevated by cancers of the colon, stomach, kidney, lung, ovary, pancreas, uterus, and liver. Like your golf score, a low number is better. I will continue to see the oncologist every 3 months this year. I don't want to ever have to deal with cancer again in my life but I know that if (and when) I am challenged with it again, I will survive.
Professionally I have had a very good year. I am teaching more online and going into school less. That is a wonderful thing. There is nothing like going work in your jammies. I am waiting to hear about a formal promotion at St. Kate's to Associate Professor and am becoming involved in more of the technology work going on at the college. I managed to finally pass my acute care certification exam as well. Perhaps this coming year will find me in the ED less and at home more. My work colleagues (all of them) have been a wonderful support for me as well. A beautiful tree grows on our property that serves as a daily reminder of the incredible group of women I work with.
My family has provided me with a solid base to continue to grow. I am looking forward to celebrating our 12th anniversary this summer. Can you believe Mary and I have been together for that long? Who knew what could become of an online ad... Our family has grown this year with the addition of Mark, Erin, Matt and Ashley. My sister Pat and Mark are so happy together! His kids are great and we are looking forward to spending lots more time together! My mother and Bob are doing great too. Bob got a new knee in November and is already more active than he was before the surgery. With the addition of Bob to the family came his son, Rob. He joined us for Christmas this year. I am not sure that he really could appreciate our loud family but here was there with all of us.
All of the kids are getting old. We have or will be celebrating several important birthdays this year. Sam turned 16 in December and is looking forward to getting his license. Alvin turns 21 on January 4 and is looking forward to...well you know! Tal Christian turns 18 in March. We are looking forward to another summer with him. We weren't sure that he would want to come to the US this year but he does. Silje with be 28 this year and Halle will be 11 soon. No more little ones in the family. The parents of all of them got a bit older too, but we won't discuss that!
I have also had the opportunity to reconnect with some friends that I had lost relationships with. That has been bittersweet in many ways. While you do get the gift of that relationship back, it can be difficult to understand and embrace the behavior that caused the rift. But true friends can forgive each other. And true friends can re-establish new relationships that are wonderful and supportive and loving. There are a couple of people on my list for renewal this year as well.
So what will 2008 bring? Good question.
I suppose one answer is MORE! But not too much...
There is more surgery in my future as I look forward to a hysterectomy on March 5. I have been having some rather significant side effects of my tamoxifen and a hysterectomy will take care of that. I am hoping for more good lab results and a continued decrease in my tumor marker.
I am expecting to become more involved with technology work at St. Kate's and am hoping to continue to work more online and less in person. I like working from home. So does Piper and Kaja.
I am planning on more time with friends and family alike. In the winter we both work more in preparation and anticipation of the summer. This summer Mary planned her vacation time to allow her to be off for nice stretches of time. I will actually have some vacation time to use myself. You will most likely find us aboard Ron...or whatever we finally name our old boat. I know we will be spending every free moment this spring working on the boat. Mary has been reading everything she can on restoring older boats. We are planning to paint the whole thing before it gets put in the water for the summer and I would like to spend Memorial Day weekend cruising the river with friends. I am also planning on more hockey, skiing, knitting and just time with those I love.
Then there are the usual New Year's resolutions: lose the 10 pounds I've gained since chemo, save more money, be a better person and orchestrate world peace. Sure. I'll be working on those too.
When I consider everything that has happened in the past year, it is difficult to sum it all up. Sure there were challenges but there were gifts and these were more abundant than the challenges. 2008 will be the same: some challenges and many gifts. Without a crystal ball I can't know what lies ahead. But I know that whatever comes my (our) way, I (we'll) manage it. And I will be here, on New Year's Day 2009 hopefully 10 pounds lighter and content with a life well-lived.
Happy New Year to my dear friends and family.
May 2008 find you ready for the challenges as well as the gifts that await you.
0 comments:
Post a Comment