We all do some things that we are not proud of. Well, at least I have always thought that was the case. After all, we are human and do not always make the best choices all the time. I am struggling with something that I am not proud of. I drink. Too much. Too often.
After this summer, I decided that I could no longer drink red wine as I couldn't seem to stop. I figured this would be a good measure for me. Most of the time that was true and I allowed myself to drink beer. Now, I have discovered this is not good for me either. Sure, I could drink one or two and be fine. If I could drink one or two. And I don't think that I can in all circumstances so, I have decided to be a non-drinking person.
This is very hard for me to admit to myself, and even more difficult to admit to others. I am ashamed of my behavior of late. I don't like having to worry about angering people, particularly my partner. I do not want to disappoint her. And I want to be healthy. I decided that sharing my decision with people (even if no one ever reads this) will help me with personal accountability. And I might need that.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Things we are not proud of...
Posted by M at 5:49 PM
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4 comments:
Congratulations on your decision! They say the first step to getting help is to admit there is a problem, so it sounds like you're headed in the right direction.
I come from a family of alcoholics (sorry, not implying you are one)... fortunately not my parents, but a grandfather and several aunts & cousins... and I've seen first hand the destruction and devestation. I think growing up around it is why I shy away from drinking.
You've survived one major battle in your life, I wish you well on this battle too!!
I gave up all alcohol after diagnosis, for a variety of reasons. What keeps me motivated is not drinking just might lower cancer risk.
Very proud of you - a huge decision. I used to love to have a drink but now, with diabetes, don't have the luxury. And, somewhat surprisingly (at least at first) the sky didn't cave in, the world kept turning and I actually felt better for it.
Now we need to start swapping non-alcohol alternatives recipes and ideas.
I can buy a scrumptious apple juice and ginger drink here which I use as me celebration drink - and add some sparkling water if I want some fizz.
I also have some great fruit juice mixes if you are interested :-)
You go girl!
Be gentle with your self...you are only human, but you are also a woman...and believe me they have incredible strength...
At the moment, and with drinking its probably an area where strength has flown out the window...becareful of feeling guilt about what you have done to anger others, especially with your partner, as ironically that can prolong the drinking (I dont know her but I bet she'd be more ticked off if you kept drinking)...just own those things, apologise, let it goand take it from there, ...
which you have done...I'm proud of you, cause girl its not an easy decision, or an easy path...but it can be a fantastic one.
Gees you should be getting warm ears with all the positive vibes I' beaming your way...lol
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