Back at Work

I've been back a work for a full week now, completing 5 full 8-hour shifts! I know that doesn't seem like a feat to most people but coming back from an illness, it is a big deal and I am proud of myself. I haven't been very productive in the evenings (I've been working day shifts thus far) but that's ok too. Who really cares if the folded laundry is sitting on the dining room table and dog toys are everywhere?

Returning to work has been an interesting experience. Somewhere in my mind, I thought I would just come back like nothing had happened. That wasn't the case. The first day I was greeted with a beautiful floral arrangement from some of my co-workers (THANK YOU Kellee, Donna, Masha, Marsha and Kristen!) and lost of people surprised to see that I looked so well. Like me, many people have the idea that people with cancer look awful and I guess I don't. I am still bald though and the stares and second looks continue.

Because of the nature of our work, I don't often work with the same group of people more than a day or two in a row. That means each time I come to work I am asked the same questions. Of course they start out with "How are you?" but what people really mean is "How ARE you?" Thankfully I am able to answer truthfully that I am doing very well. But I have to admit (this is hard to say without sounding snobby) it's getting old. Each time someone asks me that or wants to hear more about my treatment, status and prognosis (again, because they really care about the information) their questions bring everything back up for me. Returning to work was a turning point for me. Coming back to this place where I have a certain level of expertise and satisfaction allowed me to put an ending point on my cancer treatment. It was done~see...I'm better and I'm back to my usual self. But the questions push me backwards a bit. Just a bit each time but when you've worked in a place for 27 years, you know a lot of people!

I know this will decrease with each shift I am here. It has been a good week. I have been very happy to be back doing my job with my chemo brain dramatically improving. Perhaps I just had to start using my brain a bit more! And as always, the patients are delightful. Yesterday I had a very philosophical discussion with a 6-year-old girl who has leukemia. She was in for a twisted ankle and had just had a chemo run the day before. She still had her hair and we talked at length about why she had hair and I didn't. Enlightening.

And that is why I love my job.