3658-182-15-3

We are home. We drove a total of 3658 miles, pumped 182 gallons of gas, slept in other beds 15 nights and listened to 3 complete audiobooks. I am happy to report that aside from some mustard on a hotdog at the Kennedy Space Center, there were no disagreements. At all. Amazing what vacation can do for you!

We are happy to be home. It is cooler here than Florida but there is little snow to be seen. Our girls were so happy to see us, they ran from one of us to the other for quite a while when they discovered we were home. They look terrific and have been very well fed and cared for. Thanks Alvin! And we're real sorry about your camera. (Apparently a digital camera was placed next to a dog toy which Piper decided she needed to have RIGHT NOW!)

St. Augustine, Easter and Disney

We are winding down our time in Florida. In fact, today will be our last day without traveling. We are planning on heading home tomorrow. And I think we are both ready. Even vacationing can get old! Mostly, we miss our girls.



We spent the weekend playing tourist. We visited St. Augustine, Fl., the oldest city in the United States. Some of the buildings are original including Castillo de San Marco, a fort built by the Spanish to protect their territory. Remember? The Spanish originally settled in Florida, long before the Pilgrims arrived to the north. The fort was interesting and made me very happy to have been born in a time when everything about life was exponentially easier. The Fountain of Youth is also located in St. Augustine. We went there and yes, even drank from it. Mary suggested that it may have been too late for me. Nice.

We spent Easter Sunday engaged in worship at our favorite place...the Church of the Open Water (also known as the beach) and then enjoyed a lovely Easter dinner at McDonalds on our way to Orlando. We switched venues and are now staying in Orlando. We have had to spend our days poolside rather than at the beach.

Monday was cool and cloudy. Mary, my theme park lover, picked a park to visit. We initially went to the Magic Kingdom as we have not been there in many years; however, a view of the parking lot confirmed that we had made a bad choice on a holiday and headed for Epcot where we had a great day, complete with eating the ears off of Mickey Mouse.



Today, it's our final day at the pool. We are leaving at 0500 tomorrow to avoid hitting Atlanta during rush hour...a mistake we made just once. We will be home, back to normal life with work, our girls, snow and cold, on Friday.

Ahhh...relaxation!

We are settled into the routine of vacation...getting up when we want to, walks on the beach, and then some playtime. We've hit a couple of local sites when the weather has been less favorable for beachtime. Mary, Mark and Pat went to the Daytona Speedway on Tuesday while I graded papers. Yesterday we all went to Kennedy Space Center. Today the weather report is 78 and sunny! We'll be heading to the beach very soon. The photo at the top is the sunrise Mary and I watched from our balcony this morning. Enjoy the other shots.

Road Trip

We are road trippers...so when it came to making arrangements for our spring vacation, there was no thinking about transportation. It would be a road trip. We left home on Thursday, March 13 with our first destination, Louisville, KY about 10 hours away. Why Louisville? The National Houseboat Expo! We arrived on Thursday evening and settled in. The next day we found some time to spare and decided to take a tour of Churchill Downs. Very fun! We saw the sights (in the rain), had a mint julep and I put my toes on the track.

From there we went to the National Houseboat Expo. It was a boatshow with really big boats! These houseboats were HUGE~120' long and 20' wide. They had hot tubs, fireplaces and every amenity you could think of. One was 5 bedroom, 5 bath with a hot tub and 2 fireplaces. We went hoping to get some ideas about remodeling ours but instead, looked at some incredible vessels.

From there we drove to Knoxville, TN home of the University of Tennessee and Mary's favorite women's basketball team the Lady Vols. It is also the home of the Women's Basketball Hall of Fame. After touring that on Saturday morning, we crossed drove through Asheville, NC in the rain. From there we headed south through South Carolina and ended up Saturday night in Savannah, GA. Finally on Sunday, we arrived at Daytona Beach.

We have a couple of issues with our road trips. The first one is that I am not particularly fond of driving. Most of the time, that is fine with Mary who would prefer to drive anyway. After all, she is a professional driver. When she drives, I am more than happy to provide entertainment and refreshments. I will look at the map when requested. When I do have to drive it is usually because she is sleepy; however, she had a knack for turning the wheel over to me at the least ideal times. For example, I got to drive through Chicago and Indianapolis. I also got to drive on Saturday afternoon through torrential rain, high winds and flying objects. We noticed quite a few cars in the ditches as we continued on. The driving really sucked and Mary decided that would be a good time to discuss hydroplaning, following distances and when the speed limit is not the speed limit. In other words, it was a no-nag critique of my driving. Later on Saturday night on the Weather Channel, we learned I (we) had driven through a line of storms that included multiple tornadoes. No wonder I don't like to drive.

After a night in hotel in Savannah (where it was 82 degrees) that had no electricity (the storms), we headed into Florida. We are now enjoying ourselves on Daytona Beach with Pat and Mark. I have included a few photos and will post more as we go.

Back to where I was...

Weight is another one of my issues. Just a quick recap: I had gastric bypass surgery just over 2 years ago. I lost 80 pounds after the surgery and felt great. On the first anniversary of my surgery, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Through my surgery and chemotherapy, I lost an additional 20 pounds and hit my goal weight loss of 100 pounds. I was wearing a size 10 (from a size 26) and feeling thin for the first time in my life.

I've gained some weight. About 20 pounds. I still wear (mostly) a size 12 yet, I feel like the size 26 I used to be. I feel like the old person I was.

This picture was taken in January, 2006 just before my surgery. This is what I feel like I look like now.


Where does this come from?

So, when is your surgery? Part 2

Monday, March 31

Random Thoughts

I had an appointment with a new OB/GYN yesterday. A guy a bit older than me. I've worked with him professionally and he's been great to work with. We talked, he did a quick exam and we decided to go ahead with the surgery. Now I am waiting for their scheduler to call and set it up. He is scheduling 4-6 weeks out so it will be a while. Stay tuned.

Instead of having surgery, we've actually gotten some things done around here. Mary installed a new garage door opener for me and the cabinets above the bar in the kitchen are gone! What a huge difference that makes. The kitchen is brighter and obviously, the whole thing is open to the family room. I love it! Now we need to install some lights above the bar and get rid of the ugly light fixture that hangs in the middle of the room.

We've also gotten together with friends this week. How nice that has been! We went to watch Mari Anne's curling match and visited with her and Lil. Last night we had dinner with Judy and Steph. Tonight we are doing a family event with my Mom, her husband Bob and Pat and Mark. That will be nice too.

Piper has grown another inch...since January 21. I can't believe it. She is now just 0.5 inch shorter than Olivia was. She has gained a couple more pounds but is still a skinny thing. She needs to gain about 20 more. If only we could move it from Kaja onto Piper!

The biggest event of the week is that the world is still turning even after my surgery was cancelled. It is always amazing to me what a difference some time makes. I do believe everything happens for a reason although I am not sure what the reason for having to replan for the surgery is yet but I am sure I will figure it out eventually.

So when is your surgery?

Hmmm....that is a good question. My hysterectomy was scheduled for tomorrow, March 5. With just 36 hours remaining in my countdown, I learned it was cancelled. Something about a surgeon who was "really sick." Of course I don't want my surgery done by someone who is "really sick" but really...don't these people have back-up plans? Apparently not.

Let's just recap (and this is going to turn into a rant...but it is MY blog and I can do that if I want to). This surgery was scheduled in December when I was in the midst of some rather unpleasant tamoxifen-related side effects. I decided to wait until March to do it rather than January because this date would give me more time to 'get my affairs in order' and was not during the height of the illness season. Had I not been trying to be good to my students and co-workers, I would be fully recovered by now. But NOOOOOO......instead I have spent (literally) the last 2 months working extra shifts in the ED to build up some extra time as well as planning and posting all of my curriculum for the remainder of the school year. This has created some very long days, particularly in the last 2 weeks.

Additionally, Mary had to make some work exchanges. These are days she will have to work later in the year to repay those that are working for her. With both of our jobs, once you cover your shifts you don't get to change your mind and take them back. You just have time off...in March...with no specific plans. Furthermore, Mary and I planned our vacation around this. We currently have an unused condo in Orlando because we thought it would be too soon for me to travel.

And then there's my hockey team...we qualified for the state tournament this year. An unexpected and very exciting first. As we approached our final games with the possibility of a state tournament in our future, I encouraged the coaches and captains to look for a sub. They have found one who is excited to be playing in the tournament with our team. I am now replaced.

So am I mad? Yes. Not only do I have to live with the continued side effects of tamoxifen, but this little ripple has caused a tsunami in my life. And my choices? Wait until my surgeon returns to work in JULY (she's pregnant and tomorrow was her last surgery day before her delivery) or find a new surgeon. Right now, neither of these options are appealing to me.

And aside from all of the inconveniences, there is the issue of another surgery. I wanted to have my extra parts removed. They are hollow organs located deep in the body which provide a wonderful hiding place for cancer cells. Having the hysterectomy is another step toward stashing the cancer firmly in my past. But I can't do that yet. I can wait and wonder longer. My last breast cancer tumor marker was up some. From my limited understanding of oncology laboratory values, tumor markers are not supposed to increase. When I got the results, I was going to wait to figure that out until after my surgery. So now that I am not having surgery, I have to confront that. And I am scared.

And I am tired...and frustrated...and crabby.

Things we are not proud of...

We all do some things that we are not proud of. Well, at least I have always thought that was the case. After all, we are human and do not always make the best choices all the time. I am struggling with something that I am not proud of. I drink. Too much. Too often.

After this summer, I decided that I could no longer drink red wine as I couldn't seem to stop. I figured this would be a good measure for me. Most of the time that was true and I allowed myself to drink beer. Now, I have discovered this is not good for me either. Sure, I could drink one or two and be fine. If I could drink one or two. And I don't think that I can in all circumstances so, I have decided to be a non-drinking person.

This is very hard for me to admit to myself, and even more difficult to admit to others. I am ashamed of my behavior of late. I don't like having to worry about angering people, particularly my partner. I do not want to disappoint her. And I want to be healthy. I decided that sharing my decision with people (even if no one ever reads this) will help me with personal accountability. And I might need that.

Anniversary

An anniversary (from the Latin anniversarius, from the words for year and to turn, meaning (re)turning yearly) is a day that commemorates and/or celebrates a past event that occurred on the same day of the year as the initial event (Wikipedia.org, 2008).

Today is my anniversary.

One year ago today, waiting for the oil to be changed in my car, I learned I had breast cancer. Invasive and dark. Looming and hiding. And I found myself at a cross-roads, having to make decisions that would change the path of my life and significantly affect those around me. The kind of decisions you cannot change your mind about...once they remove your breasts, they cannot put them back on. Sure, they can put in new ones but that is not the same.

What a year it has been...

One of the ED nurses keeps asking me what I have learned as a result of my cancer diagnosis. I have been telling her that I know have learned things but I have not taken the time to put my thoughts together...There are so many things rolling around in my brain. So what have I learned? I am afraid to admit that all of those motivational cliches are true. Live everyday to its fullest, tell people you love them, insight through challenge and learning through painful experiences. Sure, they're all true. And I am kind of disappointed to say that I believe in all of these things. I have never been one to embrace cliche as truth. But I suppose cliche comes from somewhere.

In the past year, I have found tremendous strength in my family and friends. There is nothing like a little cancer to challenge your relationship with those you love. This year has challenged both Mary and I. We have spent periods of time talking about all of this and periods not talking about all of this. The periods of silent being have been just as important as the periods of talking. I know that I would not be sitting at my computer, healthy and centered without Mary's support, encouragement and love.

I think my health needs have also challenged my relationships with my other family members. The lines of communication among all of the members have been extended more. As a group, I feel we are more comfortable with each other. The newer family members are more integrated. There seems to be new understandings of who each of us is and what we each bring to the family unit.

And my friends...incredible. We are blessed with loving, caring friends.

I am looking forward to a quiet day today...relatively speaking that is. I am teaching class today and then working in the ED. Not truly a quiet day but to me, one that is normal. A day that is comfortable and one that I feel competent with. I know how to teach and care for my patients. I am the expert today, not the novice handed some devestating news.

So here's to the next year. Continued health, life and love. Here's the year in review...

Sisters

Sisters...

I've been thinking about Olivia this week. Perhaps that is because of Piper's birthday, but for whatever reason, she's been on my mind. Olivia did not think much of Piper and Piper adored Olivia. She wanted Livie to play with her, and regularly Piper tried to snuggle with her. We did make some progress before Livie died. This photo sums up their relationship to me. This was taken in April, 2007 and is one of my favorites. There are so many captions for it in my head...but what I would like to think it is a photo of is Olivia showing Piper around the big world. In actuality it was probably Livie trying to get away from her, the little pest.

The Growth Velocity of a Great Dane Puppy

Today is Piper's birthday...she's is a year old. Days like this make you stop and think about change. For Piper, there has been some BIG changes. Great Danes grow an incredible amount in their first year of life. A typical Great Dane puppy is born at a weight of 1-2 lbs. Piper and her nine siblings were all of 'average' size as Danes go. When we picked her up to bring her home she was about 15 pounds and about 12 inches at the shoulder. Today she is about 95 pounds and 30 inches at the shoulder. I am guestimating her weight since neither of us can pick her up to weigh her so we have to wait until our next vet visit for an 'official' weight. These puppies must achieve the equivalent growth in one year that a human adolescent experiences in 18 years. Amazing. No wonder she naps so often...

In honor of Piper's birthday here are a couple of photos:

This photo was taken on April 2, the evening after my first chemo.

This photo was taken in November.

Many people thought we were nuts to bring a new puppy home the day before beginning chemotherapy. We've always been a bit impulsive and this was no exception. Piper was my constant companion during these couple of months. We regularly napped on the couch and she seemed to know when it was okay to play and when it was time to be still. She has been a bit of work, and yes, she has cost us a tremendous amount of money this year but I am so thankful to have her.

Happy Birthday Piper!

2008

When I was little, I remember thinking about how old I would be at the turn of the century. I couldn't imagine being that old...ever. And now here we are, beginning the 8th year of that century and yes, I am that old. As 2007 ended, I spent the last few days thinking about the year that had been. Inevitable I would imagine. That is what formal endings encourage us to do. To take inventories and make plans.





So here I am...on New Year's Day with a cup of coffee (Norwegian coffee...yum) in front of the fireplace~pondering the year that was and thinking about what is to be. My intitial response is to be happy that 2007 is over and in many ways I am. It wasn't the best year for me or for us. Being diagnosed with cancer will taint one's perceptions a bit. While the surgery and the chemotherapy wasn't a great deal of fun for any of us, there were some true gifts in my diagnosis.

I survived. I know that sounds contrite but you have to understand, I've had a pretty easy life. I have not been faced with significant personal challenges. I haven't had many hurdles to overcome and pretty much what I have wanted in my life I have gotten. I have achieved many things personally and professionally. I have been more than comfortable, I have been blessed. So here in the divine plan, I was tossed a challenge which was more than I had ever been given before and I survived. A friend commented on my courage. I don't think of myself as particularly courageous. I do think of myself as someone who just deals with what is there. And that is what I did with my cancer. I just dealt with what was handed to me. And I didn't do it alone. I could not have done it alone. I found tremendous support and encouragement in my partner, my sister and niece and in my family of friends. Each time I see the oncologist, I get great news. My CA27-29 continues to go down. A CA27-29 is a tumor marker that is found in the blood of patients with breast cancer. It is used in conjunction with other screening to check for recurrence. It can also be elevated by cancers of the colon, stomach, kidney, lung, ovary, pancreas, uterus, and liver. Like your golf score, a low number is better. I will continue to see the oncologist every 3 months this year. I don't want to ever have to deal with cancer again in my life but I know that if (and when) I am challenged with it again, I will survive.

Professionally I have had a very good year. I am teaching more online and going into school less. That is a wonderful thing. There is nothing like going work in your jammies. I am waiting to hear about a formal promotion at St. Kate's to Associate Professor and am becoming involved in more of the technology work going on at the college. I managed to finally pass my acute care certification exam as well. Perhaps this coming year will find me in the ED less and at home more. My work colleagues (all of them) have been a wonderful support for me as well. A beautiful tree grows on our property that serves as a daily reminder of the incredible group of women I work with.


My family has provided me with a solid base to continue to grow. I am looking forward to celebrating our 12th anniversary this summer. Can you believe Mary and I have been together for that long? Who knew what could become of an online ad... Our family has grown this year with the addition of Mark, Erin, Matt and Ashley. My sister Pat and Mark are so happy together! His kids are great and we are looking forward to spending lots more time together! My mother and Bob are doing great too. Bob got a new knee in November and is already more active than he was before the surgery. With the addition of Bob to the family came his son, Rob. He joined us for Christmas this year. I am not sure that he really could appreciate our loud family but here was there with all of us.

All of the kids are getting old. We have or will be celebrating several important birthdays this year. Sam turned 16 in December and is looking forward to getting his license. Alvin turns 21 on January 4 and is looking forward to...well you know! Tal Christian turns 18 in March. We are looking forward to another summer with him. We weren't sure that he would want to come to the US this year but he does. Silje with be 28 this year and Halle will be 11 soon. No more little ones in the family. The parents of all of them got a bit older too, but we won't discuss that!

I have also had the opportunity to reconnect with some friends that I had lost relationships with. That has been bittersweet in many ways. While you do get the gift of that relationship back, it can be difficult to understand and embrace the behavior that caused the rift. But true friends can forgive each other. And true friends can re-establish new relationships that are wonderful and supportive and loving. There are a couple of people on my list for renewal this year as well.

So what will 2008 bring? Good question.

I suppose one answer is MORE! But not too much...

There is more surgery in my future as I look forward to a hysterectomy on March 5. I have been having some rather significant side effects of my tamoxifen and a hysterectomy will take care of that. I am hoping for more good lab results and a continued decrease in my tumor marker.

I am expecting to become more involved with technology work at St. Kate's and am hoping to continue to work more online and less in person. I like working from home. So does Piper and Kaja.

I am planning on more time with friends and family alike. In the winter we both work more in preparation and anticipation of the summer. This summer Mary planned her vacation time to allow her to be off for nice stretches of time. I will actually have some vacation time to use myself. You will most likely find us aboard Ron...or whatever we finally name our old boat. I know we will be spending every free moment this spring working on the boat. Mary has been reading everything she can on restoring older boats. We are planning to paint the whole thing before it gets put in the water for the summer and I would like to spend Memorial Day weekend cruising the river with friends. I am also planning on more hockey, skiing, knitting and just time with those I love.

Then there are the usual New Year's resolutions: lose the 10 pounds I've gained since chemo, save more money, be a better person and orchestrate world peace. Sure. I'll be working on those too.

When I consider everything that has happened in the past year, it is difficult to sum it all up. Sure there were challenges but there were gifts and these were more abundant than the challenges. 2008 will be the same: some challenges and many gifts. Without a crystal ball I can't know what lies ahead. But I know that whatever comes my (our) way, I (we'll) manage it. And I will be here, on New Year's Day 2009 hopefully 10 pounds lighter and content with a life well-lived.

Happy New Year to my dear friends and family.

May 2008 find you ready for the challenges as well as the gifts that await you.

Just when you think you have control...

Just when you think you have developed some control over the events of your life, something happens to remind you how wrong you are.

My hair was growing. All summer if grew, fractions of inches per week. It was coming in, all over my head and thick. Before I went to Phoenix, I got a haircut. Mostly to trim things up, keep things even, etc. A couple of weeks ago, on a Wednesday I noticed a couple of flipped up ends. No big deal...hair is like that. When I got out of the shower the next morning, I had curls. Not a few. They were all over my head.

This is cancer's way of reminding me who is in charge.

If you haven't seen me with curles, here's a visual for you.

Brillo pad.

Poodle.

My mom's perm in the 80s.

As an adult, I have never had curly hair. My mom alledges I had curly hair as an infant but that remains to be proven. But today...I have curly hair. Gray and curly. Like a brillo pad. Or a poodle.

Mary looks at me and reassures me that the curls are going away...that the back is not as curly as it was...that I look beautiful.

The nurses I work with tell me my hair is great...or fantastic...or like some model from J.Jill. I just flipped through their catalog and saw no one who looked like me. Gray, curly hair is something our grandmothers have. Models and our friends do not.

With the approach of Halloween I guess I can approach this in two ways. It can be an opportunity to be something that I am not (a character, a costume) or something that I am. I guess it depends on whether you are a glass half full or half empty kind-of-person.

Each morning I check. Is it still curly? Then I remember that I am thankful to have hair. To be on this side of my cancer. To be able to worry about hair.

Then I rejoice.

A Grand Slideshow

The Dark Place

A couple of weeks ago I ran into a colleague at Children's who was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago. We started talking. We were never close, just colleagues. Immediately we started comparing note: diagnosis, stage, treatment plans, surgeons and oncologists. It is amazing to me that when you meet another survivor, the talk quickly becomes the intimate details of your personal course with the disease. Kind of like women needing to share birth stories I guess. Or perhaps it is because an unspoken understanding exists. Whatever it is, we were standing in the professional staff lounge talking. She had just had her annual check and things were going well. She then asked me if I ever went to the Dark Place...that part of your mind that thinks about the other side of the statistics. You know, the 1% of women with my kind of cancer and treatment who still die from the disease...the Dark Place.

I had to admit to her that I traveled there from time to time but really tried to avoid thinking about that. Call it denial if you'd like but I am not planning to be that 1%. But what if I am. What if that sore spot on my chest is a metastasis? I had my 6-month visit with my oncologist last week. Here was pleased with how well I am doing. All labs and cancer markers (CA27-29) returned to normal and in the case of the cancer marker, dropping like it should. We discussed routine examinations, CT scans and the need for chest x-rays. He told me he isn't too sold on doing alot of routine diagnostics. When I asked him more about this, he (essentially) told me that early diagnosis of breast cancer complications doesn't really change much except that you start your treatment 'weller', before the cancer makes you too sick. I didn't find this very encouraging or comforting at all. What I heard him say is that if I experience a recurrence, there isn't much to be done about it. He also told me that most recurrences are diagnosed within the first two years after treatment.

I left the appointment with Zander feeling relieved that things are well for right now. By the time I got home, I was in the Dark Place pondering the question of how I should live my life knowing that I have a greater chance of dying young. I don't know that I have answered that question yet. I know that I need to keep myself living in the moment, doing my best work and giving my best self whenever possible. But there is so much more that I want to see and do in my life.

For a start, I went on a mini-adventure yesterday. I am in Phoenix right now, to attend the National League for Nursing's Education Summit. It begins on Wednesday but I have been here since Saturday. Yesterday I drove up into the mountains through Sedona and Flagstaff and on to the Grand Canyon. It was a long, and sometimes boring drive that I am so glad I decided to do! Standing at the edge of that canyon helped put me into perspective with the rest of the world. I am such a little part of all that is around us and came before. The natural beauty around us is incredible.

I felt so fortunate to stand there and take this all in. Taking time to just be and observe is not something that I do well or often. I am tooooooo busy for that. I am so glad that I took that time yesterday.

So how does the Grand Canyon tie into the Dark Place? On the drive down the mountain last evening listening to some good music and sipping some good coffee, I reflected on the day. It was an excellent adventure. I began to think about how fortunate I am.

Today I am healthy and have the means to enjoy some travel and new experiences. To do that and enjoy all that I have, I must stay in the light. Going into the Dark Place limits my vision. It interferes with my ability to see what is all around me. It limits my life experience.

I am sure that I will venture into the Dark Place again from time to time. I am hopeful that my visits are short and needless. I hope that I will have the ability to travel back into the light and all there is for me.

A ps on my excellent adventure. It was missing one essential element: Mary. To have her experience this place with me would have made things more interesting and exciting. I miss her.

Reflections on 3 Days

It's been quite a number of day since my initial breast cancer diagnosis. Some of those days were very difficult and painful. Others were easy physically but emotionally trying. The days that I spent working with the Breast Cancer 3-day were quite enlightening. An important transition occurred for me this past weekend. I am still not sure that I can quite articulate it but I am closer.

I made a transition from patient to survivor this weekend. Up until last week, I viewed myself as a woman with breast cancer. Being among thousands of women this past weekend helped me to rethink how I view myself...One of the questions asked over and over was "Why did you become involved?" When asked this, I started out by saying "I have it." But then I began to think more critically about this response. I was diagnosed, had bilateral mastectomies followed by chemo. I have been cleared by my surgeon and my oncologist. I don't HAVE it anymore, I HAD it. I am no longer a patient, or as some would like to think, a victim. I am a survivor. I got through it. I am done with treatment. I am back to school and work in the ED and soon, hockey. I am returning to my life as it was before I was diagnosed...or at least as much of my life as I can because I know that my life will never be the same again. Having lived through a cancer diagnosis and treatment permanently alters one's life and perspective.

Today I am a survivor of a disease that still kills thousands of women, and some men, each year. While it has not quite been six months since my diagnosis, I have undergone some incredible transformations. Seeing myself as a survivor is just one of them. Each day it seems as though I learn something else.

The 3-Day Walk

This past weekend was an incredible experience for me. I cannot yet, put my feelings into words. At this point, I will just share some photos...

Luck Revisited

When my cancer was diagnosed, well meaning people told me I was lucky because it was diagnosed early, that my lymph nodes were not involved, that I had health insurance. While their sentiments were true, and I know, well-intentioned, I did not feel lucky. What was lucky about being diagnosed with cancer? What was lucky about losing your breasts and undergoing chemotherapy?

Today, nearly six months after my diagnosis I am able to consider my luck in a different light. Yes. I was fortunate that I was diagnosed early, that my lymph nodes were not involved and that I had great health insurance. I was also fortunate to have a very supportive network of family and friends and I was very fortunate to have a relatively easy time though my chemo. What I am most fortunate to have is have had the opportunity to enjoy the summer and turn 49. I also have a different attitude toward returning to school this year. Typically I begin to dread the start of school. It means the end of sleeping late, reading fiction and wearing flip flops. This year it signifies that which is normal...being able to go to work.

I am also fortunate to be able to participate in the Breast Cancer 3-Day walk. The walk officially starts tomorrow and there are estimated to be 3,000 walkers. I have volunteered to be a part of the medical crew and am assigned to work in the main medical facility 'in camp'. Today I have a training session to attend and am very excited to do my part. Look for an update next week.

So back to luck. It's all in how you define it. And today, I feel lucky.

You've missed the boat...

The first Taste for the Cure is a wonderful memory. 19 guests, a beautiful summer evenings and lots of food and wine. The second cruise schedule for August 21 is FULL! So if you were thinking of coming, you've missed the boat...literally. If you RSVPed before today, you've got a spot.