The news of Mrs. Edwards breast cancer metatsizing has me reeling a bit. This has got to be what every woman diagnosed with breast cancer fears the most...hearing the words that your cancer is back.
Breast cancer recurs...often. A recurrence can happen months or years after the original diagnosis and treatment. For example, even though a breast cancer tumor may appear small and localized, it may be aggressive and may have spread beyond the breast; this spread cannot always be detected by current methods. This aggressiveness, as well as other factors, can lead to breast cancer recurrence (Y-Me, 2007). Selecting a course of treatment that covers all of your bases (chemo, hormones, maybe radiation) is supposed to significantly decrease our risk of recurrence. At least that is what they told me and probably what they told Mrs. Edwards too. Now she is facing palliative treatment and a death sentence.
Other times in this blog I mentioned the fact that our heads (the rationale part of ourselves) and our hearts (the emotional part of ourselves) do not always match and this is one of those times for me. My cancer was not advanced when it was diagnosed as hers was. I should; therefore, fare better long term. But each new body finding is going to throw me into a tizzy. Like the lump I found earlier this week. The nurses at the Piper Center were wonderfully reassuring. So was my friend Kellee when I talked with her on the phone. I have every reason to believe that the enlarged node I am paying attention to is nothing but a localized reaction. After all, cancer doesn't spring up overnight. However, what if it is not. What if this node has been slowly getting bigger and just now, this week has grown to the point that I can feel it?
Please don't misunderstand. I am trying very hard to keep these feelings to myself this week. We are supposed to be relaxing on vacation. And for the most part, I am. But then it sneaks back in...the nagging doubt that like Mrs. Edwards, my cancer lays waiting
to strike again.
Breast cancer recurs...often. A recurrence can happen months or years after the original diagnosis and treatment. For example, even though a breast cancer tumor may appear small and localized, it may be aggressive and may have spread beyond the breast; this spread cannot always be detected by current methods. This aggressiveness, as well as other factors, can lead to breast cancer recurrence (Y-Me, 2007). Selecting a course of treatment that covers all of your bases (chemo, hormones, maybe radiation) is supposed to significantly decrease our risk of recurrence. At least that is what they told me and probably what they told Mrs. Edwards too. Now she is facing palliative treatment and a death sentence.
Other times in this blog I mentioned the fact that our heads (the rationale part of ourselves) and our hearts (the emotional part of ourselves) do not always match and this is one of those times for me. My cancer was not advanced when it was diagnosed as hers was. I should; therefore, fare better long term. But each new body finding is going to throw me into a tizzy. Like the lump I found earlier this week. The nurses at the Piper Center were wonderfully reassuring. So was my friend Kellee when I talked with her on the phone. I have every reason to believe that the enlarged node I am paying attention to is nothing but a localized reaction. After all, cancer doesn't spring up overnight. However, what if it is not. What if this node has been slowly getting bigger and just now, this week has grown to the point that I can feel it?
Please don't misunderstand. I am trying very hard to keep these feelings to myself this week. We are supposed to be relaxing on vacation. And for the most part, I am. But then it sneaks back in...the nagging doubt that like Mrs. Edwards, my cancer lays waiting
to strike again. While here, I have had time to think about all these things. Perhaps too much time. I spend my days on the beach watching Mary and Alvin trying to bogie board, reading and thinking. Perhaps too much time thinking.
Tomorrow morning we head to Orlando. I will be attending class for a couple of days and Mary and Alvin will be left to their own devices...kind of like not having a parent around. I suspect they will be heading to some Disney property. Good for them. I hope they feel just a tiny bit sorry for me sitting in class all day!
References
References
Breast Cancer Recurrence (2007). Y-Me National Breast Cancer Organization. Retrieved March 23, 2007 from http://www.y-me.org/information/concerned_about_breast_cancer/recurrence.php
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