Do I feel lucky?

There are some words spoken in movies that are infamous. Dirty Harry said "You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?" in 1971 (AFI, 2006) and many people have used that line in their own lives at some point. It is an interesting question to ponder...do I feel lucky?

Since my cancer diagnosis, many people have told me how lucky I am...lucky that I get routine health care resulting in an early diagnosis...lucky that the tumor was small...and lucky that my lymph nodes did not contain any cancer cells. But am I lucky? And, what is luck?

Wikipedia (2007) defines luck as 1) that which happens beyond one's control; 2) a fallacy: probability taken personally; 3) an essence or that which can be influenced through spiritual means by performing certain rituals or by avoiding certain circumstances; and 4) a placebo. I'm not sure I agree with any of their definitions or their assertions, particularly when considered in light of a medical condition such as cancer. I do not think it is lucky to be diagnosed with breast cancer. To me, luck is finding a great parking space on campus in the middle of the day or a quater in the Byerly's parking lot.

I do believe that all things happen for a purpose. There is a reason why your dog dies, you fight with your mother or your father dies why you are away on a family vacation. There are lessons to be learned from the events that we experience in our lives. Things may happen in the lives of those around us as a result of the events that take place in our lives. Sometimes, the more painful the experience is, the greater the lessons that result. It can, however; take years before we experience the lesson.

If I look at my cancer from this perspective, I can cite a few things that are happening around me as a result of my diagnosis. At this very moment, our friend is having her lumpectomy. She finally checked out the lump in her breast that she had been watching and learned that it was cancer. Another friend is scheduled to have a non-malignant lump removed...also something she thought she should have checked out as a result of my diagnosis. Several other women have had their routine mammograms done (including Mary) since my diagnosis. For me, there are several things that have occurred for me that I believe are directly related to my diagnosis. First, I have been able to reconnect with a couple of people in my life with whom I had become estranged. To have new relationships with these people is a wonderful gift. I have been offered kind words of support and encouragement from them. Second, I have been able to negotiate some new parameters in my relationship with my mother. I received a card containing some very emotional sentiments yesterday and I realized that, since my diagnosis we have a mutual relationship. I feel that I am heard, cared about and loved by her in a way that is new to my adult life. Our relationship is not totally focused on her any longer! I also am learning more about living in the moment. I have always had a tendency to do that so this is not entirely new to me but it has become even more important to me now.

I think the biggest gift of my breast cancer is my attitude. All of those little annoyances in the world are just that...little annoyances. It's not breast cancer. This has become the mantra at our house. "Hey, it's not breast cancer!" And if it's not cancer, it is manageable and not a big deal. This kind of fits with our other life rule that Mary and I live by: "It's not a problem if you can fix it with a Visa card."

Finally, I want to share something very touching that has occurred. Each April there is a large women's hockey tournament held to benefit breast cancer research. The tournament is called The Stick It to Cancer Tournament and will be held April 20-22, 2007 at the SuperRink in Blaine, MN (see the link at the right). In 2006 the University of Minnesota Cancer Center was the designated donation recipient, receiving 80% of the proceeds for this event. Come join more than 72 teams as they skate in support of family and friends in their fight against breast cancer. My team, Stickin' Around is playing and my former team, Icy Hot is also playing. You won't find Icy Hot on the roster though. You have to look for "Team Mack" which is how they registered for the tournament...in honor of me. Try to make time to get to this tournament. You'll be treated to some fine hockey and will have the chance to spend some money to benefit a wonderful cause.

A special thanks to Icy Hot.

I am so touched by your gesture of support and encouragement!

References

Luck (2007). Wikipedia: The free encyclopedia. Retrieved March 8, 2007 from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luck.

American Film Institute (AFI) (2006). AFI's 100 Years...100 Movie Quotes. Retrieved March 8, 2007 from http://www.afi.com/tvevents/100years/quotes.aspx.