4:08 am

I am a professional sleeper. At least I have been up until this diagnosis. Now, the wierdest stuff gets me up and my mind going. This morning it was the puppy that started it; however, she is now sound asleep in the middle of our bed and I am in the kitchen, awake.

So what is going on my head that is preventing sleep? One would think it would be life-altering and profound questions but it is just stupid stuff like...I forgot to order the groceries, there's laundry to be folded, did the Wild win? (no), Olivia bit the mailman, there are student papers to look at, did I set up the online quiz for them correctly?, there is a faculty meeting coming up...and oh yea...I am craving macaroni and cheese. Not any mac and cheese-I want the stuff in the blue box that we all ate when we were growing up. Since we don't have that around, I guess I can substitute a grilled cheese sandwich...but what is in that bread that has kept it edible for so long?

See what I mean? Nothing earth shattering, just life's little irritations.

So it is now well after 4 am and I am eating my grilled cheese sandwich (with milk), trying to get a bit of perspective on all of this. I am not up thinking about cancer. I am not worrying about if and when I am going to have a recurrence. That is progress. My cold, bald head assures me there are very powerful drugs circulating in my body that are preventing that recurrence from coming. I wonder if those drugs are also responsible for this sleepless night?

So I will finish my sandwich, double check that I posted the quiz for my students correctly and try to go back to sleep. The puppy will be awake soon...