Chemo 2 is over. It went well. The oncology nurse practitioner made some changes in my home meds and I am feeling better...as long as I don't eat much, I don't have nausea and so far, no vomiting. The biggest event is the loss of my hair...
On Monday morning when I was washing my hair, I noticed a weird kind of feeling on my scalp. I mentioned it to the NP and she told me this was the beginning of the end of it. By the time we were on the way home from chemo later that day, there were a few hairs coming out. By early evening, I was able to painlessly pull handfuls of hair out. It was time to shave it off. Why not, it was a beautiful evening and my family was there to witness it. Mary and I went out onto the deck and began. 
It as been important to me to maintain a sense of humor throughout this process. Having your head shaved was no exception! Mary seemed to enjoy the experience as well...starting out by giving me a "bowl job" and then working up to a mohawk.
Yes, we throw gang signs here in Woodbury!
Mary also wanted to leave a few tufts for good measure but I knew someone would have to vacuum them up so I had her just do it all. We swept all of my hair (what little of it there actually was) off the deck into the wind for the birds and little animals. Perhaps they will use some of it for nesting materials.
And yes, I do look like a cancer patient now. My head is cold and it feels weird. I wear a baseball hat with my pajamas. I am startling to see for the first time. My friend Betsy stopped by yesterday and was a bit startled but then said she quickly got used to it. Our friend Lorin stopped by yesterday afternoon to kiss my bald head. It's just weird.
But I am more than my hair...much more. Losing my hair is an outward sign of the fight I am waging. And hair grows back.
My friend Kellee sent me a song called "I Am Not My Hair" by India Arie. I don't know how to link it directly here so you can listen to it, but here are some of the lyrics:
I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am the soul that lives within...
Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person? Does the way I wear my hair make me a better friend? Does the way I wear my hair determine my integrity?
Breast cancer and chemotherapy-Took away her crown and glory... She promised God if she was to survive, She would enjoy everyday of her life...Baldheaded like a full moon shining Singing out to the whole wide world like hey~I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am not your expectations.
If you want to listen to this song (and the album...it's good!) go to iTunes.
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2 comments:
hey mary mack - you might not remember me, but we played together my first year (11 = 0!)... i just wanted you to know that you are GORGEOUS with your shaved head! i love it!
i think of you frequently, and hope to see you this weekend at the Stick It tourney. my mom passed away while i was young from breast cancer, and it's hard for me to state that, because she didn't make it... i hate to use her name when giving my support, as it's hard to deal with her death. but years have passed, and medical advances have made quite a difference. know that i am rooting for you! and i'll do my best to kick some ass this weekend!
Hi Mary!
I've been following your journey ever since I talked to Bart at open hockey this winter and she forwarded me the link to this site.
I always thought you had the greatest smile after games when we'd go through the lines shaking hands at the end of our games, you'd skate through the line grinning from ear to ear like the rest of us!
You have an unbelievably great attitude and wonderful spirit, and I have no doubt that you will beat this thing........I think attitude and spirit are almost as important as modern medicine - and you've got an abundance of both!
And damn - you look great with your head shaved, wear it proud!
Tina from Ice Pack
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